Back to Basics - Because it works...

When I started this journey I had a plan and it was working well for me. I tracked everything and I blogged here. When my husband left again for A-stan after an amazing two weeks at home, well, I quit. EVERYTHING.

He's scheduled to come home in way less than a month. I've found myself in a place where I'm dissapointed that I'm not at goal 9 months out. How does one lose the last 40-50lbs in less than two weeks? One doesn't. I'm accepting that and taking responsibility for my trip off the wagon. And so, Ladies (and Gentlemen?) I present to you:

Monday Weigh-In

Pre-pre op diet: 265
Starting weight: 261
Today's Weight: 213
Total loss = 52# or
48# in the 281 days since banding

GOAL for first weigh-in in March:

199

Whatever it is/was, self-sabotage, apathy, or depression...

I will no longer allow me to keep me from a goal. Because if there is anything I've learned so far it's that I CAN do it and I ENJOY feeling GOOD.

9 in a 14

I went and got a fill this morning. Still dealing with a 4lb gain from my last Official Doctor Weigh-in so I'm sitting at 215.

I hope this is the fill that does the trick. I now have 9cc in my 14cc band.

I know that everyone is different, but I'm curious...

How much did it take before you got restriction/hit the sweet spot if you have a large band?

50 lbs, an NSV, and a POLL

Today I looked on my happy scale and it said 50 lbs DOWN!!! I know it's not a weigh-in day, but I'm keeping it. Now my next big goal is ONDERLAND. I'm a lovely 215lbs as of this morning.

So to celebrate, I nabbed my neighbor and we went looking for an outfit for me. I knew this was just the girl I needed, cause she saw me in my gym clothes the other day and informed me that I looked hot. I was like, "Thanks!" Then she follows it with, "So you need to get some new clothes cause all your other shirts make you look pregnant." (You have to know her...) This chick wouldn't pull any punches and would steer me in the right direction. So off to the mall we went.

We didn't find any tops, but I got a pair of SIZE 16!!! Diva style jeans at Old Navy. Now hush! I know they have vanity sizing, but it does my head good to be firmly away from dress sizes that start with 2 before husband gets home for his two week vacay from Afghanistan. Going from a 28/30 to a 16/18 is pretty impressive. Even if I see myself every day and don't see it myself, he will see the difference. Remember, he's gotten nothing but head shots of me since he left in February.

I went to Dillards and bought a RED TRENCH COAT in a size XL. It's a Jessica Simpson and the color is called lipstick. It is hot and makes me look even hotter. I can't wait for it to get cool outside so I can rock it.

This mall is in a smallish town so there wasn't a ton of variety. Next week we're going to trek down to closest big city and do some more shopping.

I'm happy with where I am right now health and band wise. I am not hungry unless I'm really hungry from missing a meal. I have enough restriction without getting stuck or PBing on anything. In fact, I think I'm probably one of the rare few who has never had a stuck or PB episode. I'm not bragging, I'm honestly amazed.

Now for the poll:

Without ever having seen me, what color should I dye my hair?

Red or Blonde

Who has more fun?

It's Been Awhile - Weigh-in, a Goal, and a Fill

I'm back and apparently no worse for wear. The kids and I spent quite a while at the grandparent's house. It was good for me emotionally to have someone else around over the age of "I wanna duct tape your mouth shut 13". Band-wise with no restriction it was not so great. I didn't gain, but I stayed at 233lbs for at least 3 weeks.

That however is the past. Today is a weigh-in day!

Pre-pre op diet: 265

Starting weight: 261
Today's Weight: 224
Total loss = 41# or
37# in the 98 days since banding

I got my second fill on the 4th. My BN added 1cc so I am now at 5cc in a 10cc band. I felt great for the first three days after my fill. I had no trouble sticking to liquids and mush. I wasn't ever hungry. Now... I'm starving and have no restriction. I guess 5 isn't going to be my sweet spot. Oh, but those three days were nice! I can't wait to get to restriction.

I made my "Rare" goal on July 26th. I'm now only 14lbs away from being Medium-Rare!

The kiddos have started back at school. All three are full day now. I have nothing but time to do all the things I haven't been able to squeeze in for the last 13 years. Maybe I'll finally get caught up and start taking better care of myself.

Husband is still away. I've planned a three day family trip for his R&R leave in the fall. There is an indoor pool and a massage therapist involved. Hopefully it will help him relax enough to cope with having to go right back for another 3-4 months. His boss makes his life hell and seems to enjoy it. This is the first time in 11+ years I've wanted to act like "that wife" and go give his boss a piece of my mind and a black eye.

I owe y'all two and three month Bandiversary progress pics and I owe Colleen a giant thank you post full of sisterhood clothes pics. Unfortunately my camera has either been lost or stolen. I guess it's time to replace it anyway. I just wish I could have the data card from it... I guess those pics aren't coming. Sorry y'all. You'll just have to wait for the 4 month progress pics in September. I know that will make Draz feel better since it's a nice even number!

It's going to take me awhile to catch up on posts. If there is anything profound or of immediate importance that I need to see STAT please send me a link!

Week 9 Weigh-In, First Fill Report, & The Sisterhood

Last Thursday I packed the kids and the car and headed to my in-laws house for the 4th of July festivities. I was on day 2 of liquids after my first fill and was a little worried about how I was going to handle vacation with a super tight band. As it turns out, I had nothing to worry about. My 1cc fill did absolutely nothing for me past the third day. I am back to feeling like I have no band at all. It's really quite frustrating because I feel like I'm just on another damn diet and we all know what kind of track record diets leave one with.

During vacation I consumed way too much salt and 12 pieces of Godiva chocolates.

Consequently, my scale decided to show me no love and left me exactly where I was 2 weeks ago.

Pre-pre op diet: 265
Starting weight: 261
Today's Weight: 233
Total loss = 32# or
28# in the 63 days since banding

This plateau is getting old. Time to start the whining! Or not. Wouldn't change a thing anyway. On the upside, if you check out the picture of a real plateau, you'll notice that there is a steep drop on the sides of it. I'm totally looking forward to the free fall.

In an effort to actually be productive and keep better track of my eating and drinking times I am going to go buy a watch today. I used to wear one all the time. It had 3 alarms and two timezones and kept me on track with picking up the kids from school and abreast of whatever time zone my bestie (or my hubby depending on the deployment schedule) was in. However, with the improvements in basic cell phones I have not worn one in two years. My cell phone is great for being a glorified alarm clock and showing me what time it is in Washington state and Afghanistan, but it lacks a countdown timer. What I need is an annoying little reminder every 80 minutes. BEEP BEEP - start eating BEEP BEEP start drinking BEEP BEEP time to eat again etc.

If Bella is going to be a witch and leave me to do this on my own, the least I can do is make an effort. I can't allow myself to fail this time.

In MUCH happier news:

I got home last night and found a big ole pile of love from the sisterhood waiting on my doorstep.

I've been looking through and squealing like a little girl. Wow, I mean really! There is stuff for now and stuff to work toward and I am absolutely giddy. I already have a new favorite pair of no-saggy-butt jeans!

There will be pictures soon and public thanks to my "sisterhood angel" as soon as I make sure it's OK with her.

P.S. My 2 month bandiversary was on the 3rd. I'll work on taking those pics too before too much time passes. Maybe Bella has been sneaking cake and ice cream to celebrate instead of pushing me to the edge of my plateau.

Week 8 (1st No-Loss) and First Fill

Monday was weigh-in day. I skipped the posting bit because I was a little disappointed. No loss, but there wasn't a gain either so I wasn't too hard on myself.
Holding steady at

Pre-pre op diet: 265
Starting weight: 261
Today's Weight: 233
Total loss = 32# or
28# in the 56 days since banding


I took Bella in to be serviced today. I opted to skip the numbing bit. The needle wasn't very painful and he got it on the first try. I big puffy heart my doc.

First he pulled out all the fluid and informed me I had 3cc in my 10cc band. Then he put it all back in with an additional 1cc. I now have a total of 4cc in Bella.

It is a little disconcerting to sit up with the needle sticking out of the front of you, but I decided I had no interest in looking down this time. Had I thought about it, I'd have had the nurse take a picture for curiosity's sake. The only startling feeling was when he pulled out the needle. It felt like it wanted to hang out in there or something. I got a little dizzy when they lowered the table, but I think it was just nerves. I was fine once the table stopped.

I sipped my water and it went down fine. There is a different feeling though. I'm not sure how to describe it. I feel full, but I'm hungry. Does that make sense? I have that full at the top feeling like when you eat a good sized meal but haven't over done it, but I also have that burn-y growling feeling at the bottom of my stomach. I had some weird nerve twitches at first while I was waiting the 20 minutes before heading home. They were in the vicinity of my lady-parts but it wasn't a pleasant feeling. It could also have something to do with that witch that decided to drop off the monthly curse today.

The burping is back though. I could have lived without that part.

Doc says two days of liquids, two days of mush, and then on to soft foods. I'm sipping on a glass of unsweetened vanilla almond milk. It's my new favorite for mixing protein powder into.

My next fill appointment is August 3rd, but in the morning this time. I almost didn't get my fill because I'd been sipping on water and they have a 6 hour nothing by mouth requirement at my clinic. I just forgot. oops.

Week 7 Weigh-In

Pre-pre op diet: 265
Starting weight: 261
Today's Weight: 233
Total loss = 32# or
28# in the 49 days since banding.

I was going to whine for a moment about only losing 2lbs this week. Then I realized, I lost two freaking pounds this week!

Granted, it wasn't the three pound loss that I had been maintaining for the last few weigh-ins, nor was it the five pounds I was secretly hoping for. It also wasn't a no-change week or a gain. So really, I have nothing to complain about.

I probably could have kept up the three, but that damn delivery man kept showing up at my door with pizza and Chinese, and Mexican food. Who was I to make him go away?

Not to worry! I went grocery shopping today and now the kitchen is filled with appropriate foods. I even got a new protein bar to try for breakfast tomorrow.

On the band front:

• Nine days left until my first fill.
• 3lbs away from my 2nd goal "Rare"
• I am 2-3 clothing sizes smaller than I started out

On the me front:

• I am BUSY!
• I am probably the only person left in the USA who doesn't get email on her cell phone.
• I am 52% of the way to seeing Husband for two weeks on his break from Afghanistan.

As an aside, I am really glad that you ::coughtrampscough:: ladies in blog land have finally let all the sex talk rest. I was starting to go bananas. GAH! What is it with me and the phallic symbolism? You'd think I've been away from Husband for FOUR MONTHS or something...

Week 6 Weigh-In

Pre-pre op diet: 265
Starting weight: 261
Today's Weight: 235
Total loss = 30# or
26# in the 43 days since banding.

I still have two weeks before my first fill. I wish it was sooner, but the fat girl inside me wants to put it off because I can still eat anything without trouble. Chubbella says she likes having the to option to eat brownies and steak. Me, I'm tired of having to tell her to shut up and would like for Bella to choke her out for a while. You know, let the band handle my light work.

I wish they'd let me move my 1st fill appointment up sooner. I'm dreading the first week without a loss.

I'm five pounds away from my second goal. I wonder what I'd have to do to make that happen in a week?

Week 5 Weigh-In

Pre-pre op diet: 265

Starting weight: 261

Today's Weight: 238

Total loss = 27# or

23# in the 36 days since banding

All in all, not too shabby if I say so myself. I am glad I'm sticking to only weighing on Monday's because I'm not sure I'd want to see the scale tomorrow.

I haven't had enough water today. While I have kept just inside my personal goal of 1000 calories, I didn't make my protein today and it's because I ate some of my birthday cake instead of a proper meal.

I need to make a comprehensive shopping list and get that over with. I have so much going on lately that little things keep slipping through the cracks. I really need to focus and get it together because I'm only wasting energy and effort by being disorganized. I also need to make a "you do" list. It's kinda like a "honey do" list, but I have to do it since Honey is deployed.

Why is it we can't have two spouses at once...? (Maybe on opposing deployment schedules.)

I'll be happy with a replicating device that can make me an extra copy of the one I've already got. Or better yet, this whole deployment thing can go the way of the Dodo and I can keep my man at home.

BTW: If you're following me, but I'm not following you it's because I couldn't find a link to you. If you'd like me to follow you, comment or email me a link and I'll get on it.

NSV and Monday's Weigh-In

While Mondays are my weekly weigh-in days, they are also the WORST day for me to try and post anything. So I'm a little late...

Pre-pre op diet: 265

Starting weight: 261

Today's Weight: 241

Total loss = 24# or

20# in 29 days since banding

I'm not going to complain about losing an average of almost 2/3 of a pound per day.

On to my very first NSV!

I was scavenging in the storage totes full of clothes I can wear and I came across my favorite old pair of jeans. I haven't worn them since before we moved from Germany 2 years ago. They are a cheap pair from Walmart - Faded Glory stretch flair in a size....

22W!!!

Now, I know it's only the stretch part that allowed me to get them on my bootie, but with a tunic shirt, I'm rocking those jeans. Oh how I've missed them so.

I also found another pair of jeans, but they are an ugly winter weight pair of mom cut Chic jeans in a 24. They are a touch too snug on the waist. I'm not going to let that spoil my little happy moment.

All the rest of my current jeans make me look like I have saggy ass syndrome. I look like I have great-grandma's lack of ass in them. My legs are lost, but darn it, my waist is still to big to accommodate what fits my butt and legs. Too bad I'm not a skirt kind of girl. No room in the budget for new clothes until August. Well, no room for anything other than undies and new bras until August.

Which brings me to NSV#2:

My used to fit just right granny-panties had to be officially retired to the trashcan today.

In other news, I really should eat something else, but I think I'll just grab a Crystal Light Protein water instead.

I'm only at 695 calories and 78 grams of protein though. I don't know, I may trekk down to the kitchen and grab some jerky or the last jar of Gerber chicken sticks. Decisions...

Weigh in Day 4 and Support Group Meeting

Pre-pre op diet: 265

Starting weight: 261

Today's Weight: 244

Total loss = 21# or

17# in 22 days since banding

I'm feeling much better. Too much was going on in my little world. Too many jobs to do for the kids, missing my husband, being hungry, not able to binge eat, changing eating habits, feeling disappointed after my 2 week follow-up, feeling lonely, and my hip pain coming back with a vengeance. I spent the weekend in bed. I rested and I got to web chat with Husband for about 30 minutes. I got my calendar together and organized. I feel like I can face the world again. I don't do well with disorganization.

I went to the local Lap band support group tonight and got a chance to talk to my bariatric nurse. I brought up the 2 week mush versus the 4 weeks she told me. She said two weeks is right thing. I asked her about hunger. I explained that I'm following the rules, but I am constantly hungry. She told me that meant it was time for me to go on normal diet. Glory be, no more mush for me! I can't tell you how much of a boost that gave me. I had been dreading the next three weeks...

I'm still super busy and have way too much to fit in, but my outlook is better. I'm doing ok.

WTH Batman?

Through all my pre-op appointments and support group meetings I was told two weeks liquid diet followed by 2 weeks mushy/pureed foods and to come in for my 1st fill 4 to 6 weeks from surgery.

I went in for my 2 week check in with the bariatric nurse. I was all excited because I was supposed to wait to see her before starting mushies. Today she informs me that I'm supposed to be on mush for 4 weeks and I'm to not have my first fill until 6 weeks from TODAY.

How about all of you? Did you have 2 weeks of mushies or 4 weeks?

Anyone else told 8 weeks before the first fill?

Am I wrong to be irritated that I'm getting a different story AFTER I got the band?

Just to add insult to injury, today was my weigh in day. My scale at home said 245.0 for a total loss of 16lbs. The doctor's scale said 249.7 . That's a pretty damn big difference.

First Goal Met!

Mondays are my weigh-in day and I would have posted then, but I couldn't seem to shake the waah!s. Incidentally I'm feeling better today. Thank you to the ladies who commented. It did make it easier knowing it is a semi-normal thing.

On the right side of my blog under "On the Grill" you'll find my tickers and my goal list. Please note the awesomeness that is me having marked off my first goal!

I'm currently cooking my way to rareness!

Starting weight: 261 #

First Goal weight: 250 #

weigh in day weight: 248 #

Exceeded goal by: 2 #

I am by no means expecting to meet one of those goals every week. Honestly I'm shocked that I've already lost 13 pounds. My current timeline for each goal is simply a weigh-in day in the hopefully close future.

I figure it is a good system, because by not specifying a date I will never fail. I will always either be working on a goal, meeting a goal or exceeding a goal. That has to be good for the psyche, right?

I wonder how much I'll lose before I actually see a significant change resulting in a smaller clothing size?