Day 6

Wow. I cannot believe it has been 6 days since Bella decided to come along for the ride.

Why Bella you ask? - That's an easy answer. I have the brain of a child. Hahaha. I had an upset tummy one day and Husband offered to go pick up dinner so I didn't have to cook. He brought back a favorite: pulled pork sandwiches. I wanted it SO bad, but really felt like crap and I hate vomiting. I commented in a funny cartoon-like voice that I wanted to eat the damn thing, but MY BELLY says "No!"

He looked at me deadpan and asked, "Who's Bella and why does she have a say in the matter?"

Anyway, so when I started thinking about names for my band I remembered that and then thought how much "my belly" sounds like "Mi Bella" in Italian and that reminded me of Gollum and "my precious" from The Lord of the Rings. Bands are rings... and so we have my Lapband Bella.

Now when I'm presented with the choice of trying out that big fluffy piece of bread and that plate of shrimp I will think to myself, "Mi Bella says no!"

Back to the post op stuff:

Oxycodone liquid, while great for pain is not good for Cheeseburger Girl. I couldn't function without it for the first three days, but with it I was a freaking zombie in twilight sleep. I even tried halfing the smallest recommended dose and I was still operating as a narcoleptic.

Aside from not liking the feeling of the drug, I was in a hurry to wean myself off it so I could drive. My littlest was scheduled for tonsil and adenoid removal surgery on Friday and deserved a not high mother.

Fortunately I was able to make it on Tylenol Thursday and was off all meds on Friday.

Surgery went well. Littlest was a trooper and is sleeping on my side as I type this.

I'm drinking my water, I'm sick of protein shakes, and I want a damn cheeseburger. I am also really sick of burping.

What is with the burping? Please tell me it will go away.

P.S. Check my link to Cheeseburger Girl Eats on my page. I'm using it for reviews and recipes.

Introducing Bella the LapBand

I'm back at home with my Bella in place!

I got to the hospital at 10:30 and was being wheeled back for surgery by 11:30. I don't remember much of the ride down there. In fact, aside from scootching over onto the table I'm completely blank until recovery.

In recovery, they kept waking me up and telling me to breathe deep. Apparently my sat rate kept dropping into the low 60's. It seemed like it took forever for me to come to. I was a thirsty, sleepy, and nauseated mess of a girl for a good bit. The queasiness was the worst because you really want to expel, but are terrified of jarring the freshly placed band. Normally they'd give phenergan, but I'm allergic... I was kept on nasal oxygen until midnight.

I got wheeled to my room around 2:45. Around 3:15 I was wheel-chaired down to radiology for a barium swallow. Bella was in place, and aside from an air pocket where they stitched her in, everything was perfect. Nothing to worry about, it will dissipate. Oddly, the Barium helped to settle my nausea.

After that I was back in bed dozing in and out until around 6:00 when they brought me a tray of dinner. (Crystal Light, Sugar-free cherry jello, and chicken bullion) The cold stuff was harder to drink, it made me aware of my incisions. The bullion was heaven though.

I only had a couple bouts with the gas pains in my shoulder. They were't really bad and I managed to ease them by tapping my chest and changing position in the bed. Then there was a lot of burping.

As far as the pain goes, I have five incisions, but the one at the top with the port is the only one that is tender. Mostly it feels like I did way too many crunches at the gym. My incisions are all glued shut with dermabond, so I am able to shower.

I'm trying to keep this coherent, but I still find myself nodding off. I haven't had any pain meds since 6:00am so I guess I just need the rest.

I'll update more after a nap.

Ok I was going to update after a nap, but my brilliant self tried to go it without the pain meds today. No Go. Taking big dose of pain meds and going to bed. I'll read over this when I'm more coherent and answer any questions then too.

I'm Getting Banded in the Morning!

I report for surgery at 10:30AM.

It almost seemed as if there was a conspiracy against me today. First, everywhere around here is flooded. I mean, closed interstates, floating vehicles and floating houses flooded. We're fine here, but between here and MIL's house the roads are toast. MIL is supposed to be coming up to take care of the kids this week while I get banded and recover. So... The 3.5 hour drive from her house to here has so far taken 6 hours, and she's still not here. Apparently the only way to get here is to keep driving north and then head in our direction. I totally owe my inlaws for making the hellish and (no doubt) scary drive.

I'm pretty sure I mentioned a couple of blogs back about feeling like a burden. Yeah. Here I am, BIG FAT BURDEN. Yes, please drive through torrential rains and rising flood waters so I can have a governor installed on my intake. Here is a pre-op pic:

This is me. Big ole ass.

Eeeh-awh!

On the upside, she is just outside of town now and should be here shortly.

Back to the conspiracy...

So these kids, supposedly I have to keep feeding them even when I'm not allowed to eat. Clearly I can't cook for them because I absent-mindedly eat all the time. So I figured I'd run to Subway and score the little ones some pizzas and a sandwich for the oldest. GAH! I wish they made a liver and onions take out place and that the kids liked liver and onions so I would have been gagging rather than drooling.

I'm off to get the kids into bed and then put myself there too. I don't think I can hang staying awake much longer. Night time is usually eating time for me.

So to summarize: Flooding, washed out roads, Dorothy and Toto, That bastard Jared at Subway, Food Pron!, kids!!!

Cross your toes for me! I'll catch you all on the flipside.

P.S. Is licking the glass at Subway considered part of the clear liquid diet?

3 Sleeps Until Banding & BYOC

I'm a vaguely crazed mess. I'm fighting hard not to go on a "last meal" food bender. I feel a bit like an alcoholic who knows she'd better tie on a good one because detox and rehab starts Sunday.

In other news, I have a migraine and a sunburn.

1. What is your favorite smell?

My husband. But that might just be because he's deployed. Ordinarily I'd say baked goods.

2. What is your all time favorite movie and why?

The ones of my husband reading books to the kids. DUH, I miss him.

As far as real movies go, I don't have a favorite. I have a horrible memory when it comes to all the the entertainment genres. I like things in the moment.

3. What's your trigger food?

LOL, that should be pretty obvious in my case. Cheeseburgers! They're cheap and everywhere.

And brownies-ala-mode...

4. When someone you love is going through a difficult time – what are your go-to words to make them feel better – in just a sentence or two?

Tell me what you need and I will do everything I can. I would take this pain for you if I could.

5. This one is always the same. Who is your nominee for the blog of the week for YOU? Which blog OR comment touched your heart, spoke to you, stuck with you all week?

I have been swamped this week and haven't had much time to read. I promise I'll do my best to get caught up.

I've Got a Date With a Surgeon!

I got a call just as I was sitting down to dinner tonight. We try to eat before five o'clock here. I didn't recognize the number on the caller ID so I almost didn't answer it. It occurred to me it could be Husband calling from overseas so I took my chances and answered. I am so glad I did.

It was the Bariatric RN. She asked me if I was ready to schedule my surgery. I told her I was ready yesterday!

May 3rd

20 days until banding!

Between now and then I'll have another appointment with my surgeon and a pre-admissions appointment.

And here I was thinking that with my luck it would be the end of July...

Husband is usually the one with all the luck. We joke that he could stick his hand into a pile of poop and pull out diamonds and wet wipes! Here's hoping I've found some luck of my own and am not borrowing any of his. He needs it more than I do right now.