Tuesday, May 25, 2010


I was a little disappointed to see the scale only move 1 pound this week. It's kinda hard to swallow after dropping 16 pounds in two weeks. Instead of dwelling on it I decided to get the good old tape measure out to check. I don't measure every week like I weigh, so I figured it would give me a little pick me up to see smaller numbers somewhere. I'm pretty excited with the results!

Current - Starting = Change

Neck 16.0in - 16.5in = -0.5in

Chest 52.0in - 55.0in = -3.0in

Bicept 16.0in - 17.0in = -1.0in

Waist 49.0in - 51.0in = -2.0in

Hips 55.5in - 56.0in = -0.5in

Thigh 29.0in - 30.0in = -1.0in

That's 8 inches total, well actually it's 10 if you count each arm and leg separately!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Weigh in Day 4 and Support Group Meeting

Pre-pre op diet: 265
Starting weight: 261
Today's Weight: 244
Total loss = 21# or
17# in 22 days since banding

I'm feeling much better. Too much was going on in my little world. Too many jobs to do for the kids, missing my husband, being hungry, not able to binge eat, changing eating habits, feeling disappointed after my 2 week follow-up, feeling lonely, and my hip pain coming back with a vengeance. I spent the weekend in bed. I rested and I got to web chat with Husband for about 30 minutes. I got my calendar together and organized. I feel like I can face the world again. I don't do well with disorganization.

I went to the local Lap band support group tonight and got a chance to talk to my bariatric nurse. I brought up the 2 week mush versus the 4 weeks she told me. She said two weeks is right thing. I asked her about hunger. I explained that I'm following the rules, but I am constantly hungry. She told me that meant it was time for me to go on normal diet. Glory be, no more mush for me! I can't tell you how much of a boost that gave me. I had been dreading the next three weeks...

I'm still super busy and have way too much to fit in, but my outlook is better. I'm doing ok.

Friday, May 21, 2010


I'd like to make a really awesome blog, but I still just don't have it in me. I've been struggling with apathy lately. I've felt completely disconnected from everything. I'm trying though. See, here is my BYOC... that's a start right?

1. If you had three wishes what would they be and why?
I wish for Heinlein's idea of utopia because the man's writing makes me feel smart. I find myself wondering why it can't be that way.
I wish that whenever someone abuses someone else, they would immediately feel the pain of a heart attack and it would only stop when they turned themselves in.
I wish that my children will know peace and their father.

2. If you had all the money in the world and perfect circumstances - how many children would you have and what sex?
I already have three, one with Autism and one with Aspergers. I don't think I need to be doing any more breeding. Our family feels pretty complete already.

3. Have you ever faked it? (Because I need to laugh...feel free to skip this one if it's too personal.)
Yes. I faked it every time until about 3 days after I was married. But I tell you what, once we got me figured out, I've never done it since. I will NEVER leave my husband!

4. What movie character do you think you look like?
When I was young and thin many people said I looked like Alicia Silverstone. Now that I'm old and fat, I look like a random extra!

5. Repeat question. Which blog or comment spoke to you or stuck with you this week and why?
Drazil's blogs about depression. I totally identified with them so much so that I couldn't bring myself to comment. I've been battling myself since surgery and am trying not to let the apathy I've felt lately cause me to circle the drain into the pipes of depression.

Monday, May 17, 2010

WTH Batman?

Through all my pre-op appointments and support group meetings I was told two weeks liquid diet followed by 2 weeks mushy/pureed foods and to come in for my 1st fill 4 to 6 weeks from surgery.

I went in for my 2 week check in with the bariatric nurse. I was all excited because I was supposed to wait to see her before starting mushies. Today she informs me that I'm supposed to be on mush for 4 weeks and I'm to not have my first fill until 6 weeks from TODAY.

How about all of you? Did you have 2 weeks of mushies or 4 weeks?

Anyone else told 8 weeks before the first fill?

Am I wrong to be irritated that I'm getting a different story AFTER I got the band?

Just to add insult to injury, today was my weigh in day. My scale at home said 245.0 for a total loss of 16lbs. The doctor's scale said 249.7 . That's a pretty damn big difference.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

First Goal Met!

Mondays are my weigh-in day and I would have posted then, but I couldn't seem to shake the waah!s. Incidentally I'm feeling better today. Thank you to the ladies who commented. It did make it easier knowing it is a semi-normal thing.

On the right side of my blog under "On the Grill" you'll find my tickers and my goal list. Please note the awesomeness that is me having marked off my first goal!

I'm currently cooking my way to rareness!

Starting weight: 261 #
First Goal weight: 250 #
weigh in day weight: 248 #

Exceeded goal by: 2 #

I am by no means expecting to meet one of those goals every week. Honestly I'm shocked that I've already lost 13 pounds. My current timeline for each goal is simply a weigh-in day in the hopefully close future.
I figure it is a good system, because by not specifying a date I will never fail. I will always either be working on a goal, meeting a goal or exceeding a goal. That has to be good for the psyche, right?

I wonder how much I'll lose before I actually see a significant change resulting in a smaller clothing size?

Sunday, May 9, 2010

I Think I'm Broken - Day 7

What fresh hell is this?

I have spent all day in tears over everything. EVERY SILLY LITTLE THING.

I do not cry! Well, sometimes of course, over big things, but NEVER over nothing and all day long off and on.

Is this something that is common after surgery? Some weird hormonal fluctuations? Or just a symptom of not being able to dull feelings with overeating?

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Day 6

Wow. I cannot believe it has been 6 days since Bella decided to come along for the ride.

Why Bella you ask? - That's an easy answer. I have the brain of a child. Hahaha. I had an upset tummy one day and Husband offered to go pick up dinner so I didn't have to cook. He brought back a favorite: pulled pork sandwiches. I wanted it SO bad, but really felt like crap and I hate vomiting. I commented in a funny cartoon-like voice that I wanted to eat the damn thing, but MY BELLY says "No!"
He looked at me deadpan and asked, "Who's Bella and why does she have a say in the matter?"

Anyway, so when I started thinking about names for my band I remembered that and then thought how much "my belly" sounds like "Mi Bella" in Italian and that reminded me of Gollum and "my precious" from The Lord of the Rings. Bands are rings... and so we have my Lapband Bella.

Now when I'm presented with the choice of trying out that big fluffy piece of bread and that plate of shrimp I will think to myself, "Mi Bella says no!"

Back to the post op stuff:

Oxycodone liquid, while great for pain is not good for Cheeseburger Girl. I couldn't function without it for the first three days, but with it I was a freaking zombie in twilight sleep. I even tried halfing the smallest recommended dose and I was still operating as a narcoleptic.
Aside from not liking the feeling of the drug, I was in a hurry to wean myself off it so I could drive. My littlest was scheduled for tonsil and adenoid removal surgery on Friday and deserved a not high mother.
Fortunately I was able to make it on Tylenol Thursday and was off all meds on Friday.

Surgery went well. Littlest was a trooper and is sleeping on my side as I type this.

I'm drinking my water, I'm sick of protein shakes, and I want a damn cheeseburger. I am also really sick of burping.

What is with the burping? Please tell me it will go away.

P.S. Check my link to Cheeseburger Girl Eats on my page. I'm using it for reviews and recipes.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Introducing Bella the LapBand

I'm back at home with my Bella in place!

I got to the hospital at 10:30 and was being wheeled back for surgery by 11:30. I don't remember much of the ride down there. In fact, aside from scootching over onto the table I'm completely blank until recovery.

In recovery, they kept waking me up and telling me to breathe deep. Apparently my sat rate kept dropping into the low 60's. It seemed like it took forever for me to come to. I was a thirsty, sleepy, and nauseated mess of a girl for a good bit. The queasiness was the worst because you really want to expel, but are terrified of jarring the freshly placed band. Normally they'd give phenergan, but I'm allergic... I was kept on nasal oxygen until midnight.

I got wheeled to my room around 2:45. Around 3:15 I was wheel-chaired down to radiology for a barium swallow. Bella was in place, and aside from an air pocket where they stitched her in, everything was perfect. Nothing to worry about, it will dissipate. Oddly, the Barium helped to settle my nausea.

After that I was back in bed dozing in and out until around 6:00 when they brought me a tray of dinner. (Crystal Light, Sugar-free cherry jello, and chicken bullion) The cold stuff was harder to drink, it made me aware of my incisions. The bullion was heaven though.

I only had a couple bouts with the gas pains in my shoulder. They were't really bad and I managed to ease them by tapping my chest and changing position in the bed. Then there was a lot of burping.

As far as the pain goes, I have five incisions, but the one at the top with the port is the only one that is tender. Mostly it feels like I did way too many crunches at the gym. My incisions are all glued shut with dermabond, so I am able to shower.

I'm trying to keep this coherent, but I still find myself nodding off. I haven't had any pain meds since 6:00am so I guess I just need the rest.

I'll update more after a nap.

Ok I was going to update after a nap, but my brilliant self tried to go it without the pain meds today. No Go. Taking big dose of pain meds and going to bed. I'll read over this when I'm more coherent and answer any questions then too.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

I'm Getting Banded in the Morning!

I report for surgery at 10:30AM.

It almost seemed as if there was a conspiracy against me today. First, everywhere around here is flooded. I mean, closed interstates, floating vehicles and floating houses flooded. We're fine here, but between here and MIL's house the roads are toast. MIL is supposed to be coming up to take care of the kids this week while I get banded and recover. So... The 3.5 hour drive from her house to here has so far taken 6 hours, and she's still not here. Apparently the only way to get here is to keep driving north and then head in our direction. I totally owe my inlaws for making the hellish and (no doubt) scary drive.

I'm pretty sure I mentioned a couple of blogs back about feeling like a burden. Yeah. Here I am, BIG FAT BURDEN. Yes, please drive through torrential rains and rising flood waters so I can have a governor installed on my intake. Here is a pre-op pic:

This is me. Big ole ass.

On the upside, she is just outside of town now and should be here shortly.

Back to the conspiracy...
So these kids, supposedly I have to keep feeding them even when I'm not allowed to eat. Clearly I can't cook for them because I absent-mindedly eat all the time. So I figured I'd run to Subway and score the little ones some pizzas and a sandwich for the oldest. GAH! I wish they made a liver and onions take out place and that the kids liked liver and onions so I would have been gagging rather than drooling.

I'm off to get the kids into bed and then put myself there too. I don't think I can hang staying awake much longer. Night time is usually eating time for me.

So to summarize: Flooding, washed out roads, Dorothy and Toto, That bastard Jared at Subway, Food Pron!, kids!!!

Cross your toes for me! I'll catch you all on the flipside.

P.S. Is licking the glass at Subway considered part of the clear liquid diet?