BYOC

Here is my contribution to BYOC Friday! If you don't know what it's about head on over to : It's Just Me Drazil, & Sheniqua for the run down.

1. Do you remember your last dream?

Not really. I don't usually remember my dreams but the last one I remember remembering was about some kind of argument that I was trying to resolve but the people kept changing and I was overwhelmed and just wanted to run away. Every room I went into was exactly like the last one and the situation was the same, but the face of the arguing parties was always different.

***When you dream do the people look like who they are to you? I ask because when I dream I know that it is my brother (for example) but he looks like someone I've never met. Am I alone in this?

2. Which is your favorite body part of the human body and why?

Well, that depends on what for...

For drooling over I'd say it's that cut at the hip. I call it the hip dip. Mamma wantsa bite o them mmm....!

For just general cuteness that would be baby feet. But only baby feet, cause everyone's feet except for my own are scary.

3. Tell me about your first kiss...

My first kiss... I was 15. I went to the skating ring with some of my friends from school. There was this guy, dreamy guy, who was 19. My friends got him to slow skate with me and at the end of the evening I walked out with him to wait for my parents to pick me up. Before he got in his car he got my phone number and then kissed me. BTW I guess I forgot to mention he thought I was 17.

Actually that's not the real story it was my 2nd kiss, but it's the one I like to remember and the one I will tell to my daughter when she's old enough to ask.

The real deal was outside after an after school function when I was 15. It was this red headed boy who was kinds dorky and was covered in freckles. I say dorky not over his look, we're talking demeanor. Anyway, he kissed me in the parking lot and then proceeded to grab my butt while he kissed me. LAME! I was so embarrassed and never spoke to him again.

4. How big is your bed?

Queen, but I was told to upgrade to a latex foam king size before Husband comes back from this deployment.

5. Repeat question....whose blog or comment stuck with you the most this week and why?

This post from Blossom Banded I totally remember working hard to deal with that feeling. I remember struggling not to ask my husband what the hell was wrong with him to want to be with me looking like I did. It was really hard for me to process that this was MY issue and actually had nothing to do with the wonderful man I married who loved me despite myself and just quietly hoped I would start loving myself as much as he loved me.

*GAH Draz... not love myself like *that* Although, he probably wouldn't have minded the show. Now take your double entendres and go back to work! ::wink::

BYOC - by Drazil

1. What was your first pet?

• We had a poodle when I was little. Her name was Musette. However the first pet that was just for me was a Betta fish named Michael J. Fish when I was in second grade. Now you also know my first crush!

2. When did you lose your virginity? (Okay – before you throw stones and break out the holy water – first of all – this is not my question. It came from a follower and I obliged cuz I like it…so there.) Obviously don’t answer if this is too personal…..but don’t hate me for putting it out there.

• I was 15. He never called again. I ran into him as an adult and he didn't even remember who I was.

3 & 4 – I’m combining these two cuz this answer could be long. A follower (thanks Steph) asked if I could ask what a daily meal plan looks like for each of you – out of curiosity and out of possibly learning new foods to try.

• I try to remember to eat breakfast, but it has always been an issue for me. When I'm following my plan my day looks like this:

Breakfast:

Tennessee Pride Fully cooked Turkey sausage x2
or

Oscar Mayer Canadian Bacon x5 slices

Lunch:

Sometimes a McDonalds cheeseburger

Usually Chicken Salad or

2 Turkey burger patties or

2 Vegan Boca Burgers

Dinner:

Chicken Tenderloin or

Grilled Talapia or

1/3 lb hamburger steak or

2 bratwurst or

2 fillet steaks

with 1/3 cup of Coleslaw or sauerkraut

Snacks:

If I have a snack, it is whatever I want. Most of the time it's beef jerky, but if I want cake or something, I get one serving of it and try to only eat half of that.

*I currently have no restriction, so the foods I eat now may or may not work after my first fill at the end of June.

5. Repeat question: What blog or blog comment stayed with you or stuck with you the most this week and why?

• Drazil's blog: Wanna play Hide and Seek? I'm just so happy that there are other people who remember to put their kids first by making good choices for themselves. I big puffy heart Drazil!

BYOC

1. If you could live anywhere in the world - where would it be and why?

I want to split my time between somewhere cooler up north in the summer and somewhere with a warm winter in the south. Or back in Europe. I'm not too picky, but I preferred Germany to Belgium. Always wanted to go to Ireland though, and England, and Austraila... Heck! I don't know. Ask me an easy question!

2. How old were you when you got drunk for the 1st time?

16. I got all that out of my system very early on. I don't drink now. Maybe 1 beer 2 times a year with a burger or a glass of champagne on New Years. I did have a love for "boozy milkshakes" Chocolate with Kahlua and Vanilla with Irish Cream, but alas the milkshakes are not my friend anymore.

3. What was your favorite toy growing up?

I don't remember any toys other than a sit-n-spin when I was 3 and my Gem and the Holograms doll when I was 7. So, I guess those were my favorite. My family was 5 kids - welfare and food stamp poor so there wasn't an abundance of stuff filling the toy boxes.

4. What's your favorite season and why?

I love the Fall. I am a sweater girl and can't stand the heat of summer. I love the idea of the harvest and canning food and family togetherness. The pretty trees and rich burning smells from fireplaces are a bonus!

5. Repeat question....which blog or comment spoke to you or stuck with you the most this week?

I always intend to bookmark them for this question, but I keep forgetting. I'm lousy with names so I have to keep re-reading the posts of my followers. I don't know how you really popular people keep it straight.

BYOC

I'd like to make a really awesome blog, but I still just don't have it in me. I've been struggling with apathy lately. I've felt completely disconnected from everything. I'm trying though. See, here is my BYOC... that's a start right?

1. If you had three wishes what would they be and why?

I wish for Heinlein's idea of utopia because the man's writing makes me feel smart. I find myself wondering why it can't be that way.

I wish that whenever someone abuses someone else, they would immediately feel the pain of a heart attack and it would only stop when they turned themselves in.

I wish that my children will know peace and their father.

2. If you had all the money in the world and perfect circumstances - how many children would you have and what sex?

I already have three, one with Autism and one with Aspergers. I don't think I need to be doing any more breeding. Our family feels pretty complete already.

3. Have you ever faked it? (Because I need to laugh...feel free to skip this one if it's too personal.)

Yes. I faked it every time until about 3 days after I was married. But I tell you what, once we got me figured out, I've never done it since. I will NEVER leave my husband!

4. What movie character do you think you look like?

When I was young and thin many people said I looked like Alicia Silverstone. Now that I'm old and fat, I look like a random extra!

5. Repeat question. Which blog or comment spoke to you or stuck with you this week and why?

Drazil's blogs about depression. I totally identified with them so much so that I couldn't bring myself to comment. I've been battling myself since surgery and am trying not to let the apathy I've felt lately cause me to circle the drain into the pipes of depression.

3 Sleeps Until Banding & BYOC

I'm a vaguely crazed mess. I'm fighting hard not to go on a "last meal" food bender. I feel a bit like an alcoholic who knows she'd better tie on a good one because detox and rehab starts Sunday.

In other news, I have a migraine and a sunburn.

1. What is your favorite smell?

My husband. But that might just be because he's deployed. Ordinarily I'd say baked goods.

2. What is your all time favorite movie and why?

The ones of my husband reading books to the kids. DUH, I miss him.

As far as real movies go, I don't have a favorite. I have a horrible memory when it comes to all the the entertainment genres. I like things in the moment.

3. What's your trigger food?

LOL, that should be pretty obvious in my case. Cheeseburgers! They're cheap and everywhere.

And brownies-ala-mode...

4. When someone you love is going through a difficult time – what are your go-to words to make them feel better – in just a sentence or two?

Tell me what you need and I will do everything I can. I would take this pain for you if I could.

5. This one is always the same. Who is your nominee for the blog of the week for YOU? Which blog OR comment touched your heart, spoke to you, stuck with you all week?

I have been swamped this week and haven't had much time to read. I promise I'll do my best to get caught up.

My 1st BYOC

1. Name a career you would NOT want to do and tell why.

Hmm... This one is hard because I'm a Gemini (if you buy into astrology) and essentially have multiple personalities... I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I've been interested in tons of things and all of them are as random as the next. WAIT! I know! I wouldn't ever, ever want to be one of the guys that work on building highways and roads. That has to be the hottest, sweatiest, smelliest job. I totally see the need for it and thank them for the backbreaking, miserable work they do, but there is no way I'd ever be able to hang with them.

2. What is the best present you've ever received for your birthday?

Eight years ago, one of my oldest friends was in an automobile accident and was paralyzed from the shoulders down. He was in ICU for a very long time and then spent months in a rehab facility. That year, he got to come home from the physical rehab facility on my birthday. He passed away five years ago (September) from a brain aneurysm. At the time, we were so hopeful and I thought it was a sign of good things to come that he got to move back home on my birthday. I will always remember that birthday and the hope we had.

3. What do you hide behind?

My FAT - Did you know that you are practically invisible when you're fat? No one looks at you with anything other than disdain or pity. If something doesn't work out it's not because you weren't good enough, it's because you were too fat to try or someone was biased because you are fat. Nothing like a fattie basher to justify feelings on inadequacy. I can't go do fun stuff because I'm too uncomfortable. I can't become part of the "in crowd" because that requires socializing and I can't let anyone see the fat girl eat. Like they don't know I sit at home and devour a whole 13x9 pan of brownies with a quart of Bryer's Vanilla Bean Ice Cream. Please. Everyone know's the fat girl eats. I just can't bring myself to do it in public.

My KIDS - Let's face it, my schedule is booked. Up through the end of this summer... After that all my children will be full time school age and I will have my days (mostly) free. Granted my middle child will still have Autism Therapy twice a week so finding a job will be difficult at best, but that is beside the point. I am terrified that I will turn out to be a horrible house keeper and I still won't take care of myself. Having the time and freedom to do things freaks me right out, because I'm afraid of failing. I am great at shuttling kids, balancing complex schedules, and running myself through the wringer to fit it all in. What if I just fail at life in general when what I do is left completely up to me?

4. Where were you born?

South-west Tennessee

5. Which BLOG/comment affected you greatly this week?

BLOGS: Sparkler's blog about diet fatigue really hit home for me. As my banding day approaches I find my self worrying that this might not work or I'll be slow to drop weight. She really put it in perspective and reminded me that any loss no matter how slow is better than a gain and this is about keeping it off not crashing it off.

COMMENT: amandakiska's comment on my burden blog. I don't know why it didn't occur to me that other people do things because it makes them feel good. I mean, I knew that, but I wasn't applying it to things others do for me.