Confessions of a Person Who Sometimes Fails Gloriously

Husband came home.

We moved.

I don't know what happened.

I put it all back on.

ALL OF IT.

I'm vowing as of this moment to start over.

I will get an appointment with my local doc and get a referral to a bariatric doc here.

I will begin eating all my protein.

I will not have any more diet soda.

I will not eat any more sugar or bread.

I will do the right thing.

I will take my jiggly belly to the gym even though I don't own any work out clothes that fit.

I will forgive myself for not allowing myself to succeed.

In short, I will shut up and put up.

Back to Basics - Because it works...

When I started this journey I had a plan and it was working well for me. I tracked everything and I blogged here. When my husband left again for A-stan after an amazing two weeks at home, well, I quit. EVERYTHING.

He's scheduled to come home in way less than a month. I've found myself in a place where I'm dissapointed that I'm not at goal 9 months out. How does one lose the last 40-50lbs in less than two weeks? One doesn't. I'm accepting that and taking responsibility for my trip off the wagon. And so, Ladies (and Gentlemen?) I present to you:

Monday Weigh-In

Pre-pre op diet: 265
Starting weight: 261
Today's Weight: 213
Total loss = 52# or
48# in the 281 days since banding

GOAL for first weigh-in in March:

199

Whatever it is/was, self-sabotage, apathy, or depression...

I will no longer allow me to keep me from a goal. Because if there is anything I've learned so far it's that I CAN do it and I ENJOY feeling GOOD.

9 in a 14

I went and got a fill this morning. Still dealing with a 4lb gain from my last Official Doctor Weigh-in so I'm sitting at 215.

I hope this is the fill that does the trick. I now have 9cc in my 14cc band.

I know that everyone is different, but I'm curious...

How much did it take before you got restriction/hit the sweet spot if you have a large band?

Starting Fresh

I got on the scale this morning and it said 216. That is 11 lbs up from the lowest I've seen.

Figured that means it's time for a reset day or three before my fill on Wednesday.

I stocked up on pre-made protein shakes. I've found I drink them better if they are already made. Also I found some Myoplex Chocolate Fudge shakes that are only 300 cals, 2 grams of sugar, and 42 grams of protein. The don't taste awful, not good either, but also not gag worthy.

I'm slowly catching up on all the household chores that I got behind on. I must have it all done before Husband comes home from A-stan in a couple of weeks. I'd like to get it all done and get back into the swing of exercising again. He came home in October for his two weeks of leave and after he left, I fell into a hole of depression. I quit working out the day he left and haven't been back since. I miss it. I miss feeling good and like I accomplished something.

Today I spent the morning reading to 5&6 year olds. Then I spent a couple of hours making beds in the barracks for the single soldiers who are coming home. After lunch I worked at the school again helping with the last day of our bookfair. I logged on to tally my volunteer hours for January and discovered I've volunteered 350+ hours for 2010. Not too bad.

I think this year my goal will be 365 hours.

I'm Back

I am on the other side of a hideous bout of depression.

I have been plateaued for 4 months now.

I found out last month that I do not have a 10cc band, I have a 14cc band and could have been more aggressive with fills had I known that. I STILL DO NOT HAVE RESTRICTION AT 9 MONTHS OUT!!!

I currently have 8cc in my band and am desperately trying to get to that dreamy place called the sweet spot.

I really hope you will all forgive me for my long absence. I'll try not to go away for so long ever again.